moonshine

Guess what fate brought upon me this week?

































Hehe, I'm not as lucky as you think...

One midterm on Tuesday night
One midterm on Thursday night
One midterm on Friday night

i began experiencing slight hallucinations of my lecturers conversation in progress

Since everything now days comes in trilogies,

Why not throw in 3 assignments deadline on Friday as well? Ok, sure.

Wait wait, how about FYP? Next week due date lo

another lec intruded, but isn't next week supposed to be parallel processing and compiler design assignment due date as well?

That's the beauty my dear. This is how we are fulfilling our job as a lecturer asshole











Slowly, I feel my life is getting shorter by the moment, i really do...

death note

I wish i can say goodbye,
especially the ones who makes me cry inside,
tutors, lecturers, friends and foes,
hypocrites, back stabbers, liars, and assholes,

I wish i was born another day,
to face adventures in life the other way,
No matter how hard i try to do it,
Nothing seems to work out the way i want it to be,

I wish i was born of another planet,
where all the people in the world take flights,
our beds would be filled with warm blankets,
there is no need for an empty jacket.

regardless of the times they tell me,
My dreams would never be of reach,
I guess this stupid struggle is of my own,
All i can is to kill this demon and i'll be enthroned.

no matter how i see it,
there is no turning back time now,
so till the end i will fight,
my very last breath will be the light....

Do you sometimes secretly just wish you can fly away from all your troubles and worries in this life? I guess these are the moments when we made the decision which will bring us to another chapter in our lives, be it right or wrong. There is definitely no option of running away now for me. At this moment, I'm just waiting to be sacrificed like a lamb was to be sacrificed on the throne to please the gods back in the days. I am a naive and uncertain person deep inside, though i am fully unprepared of what the future brings i will promise to never run away again. No, stupidity is not the answer, it's not going to end up like what i used to do before this. All i ask is for you to give me another chance to try. I am neither smart nor rich, as well as good looking nor charming. I am just an ordinary guy walking the empty streets of darkness, it's different from you and your so called definition of what life is. So with all my heart and all my breath, just let me scream into the abyss where you take your share of my shattered soul into account and keep on playing the game.. i hope you are happy, with moments of enjoyment engulfed in your mind before i take it apart and rip it to pieces with the fangs of hatred. Please help me break away darling...

senselessness

Things in life just doesn't seem to make sense sometimes, i guess the god's are playing with us far too hard sometimes.

6 April 2007
I am supposed to face a very hard quiz in my tutorials at 4.30pm, and later at 8pm an easy midterm paper. The paper is supposed to be easy because I've taken a lot of effort to study the paper throughly prior to the midterm and by now i was able to memorise almost everything they can throw at me. Despite that i dont take my chances and forced myself to library to study for both of it through out the day.

In the library, i was sitting alone and trying to read up intensely - the paper, but the moment i turn up my head for a break, there was this girl who sat beside me and she was literally staring and smiling to me. I was stoned, period. I didn't know what to do so i went for a cigarette break, haha... by the time i return, she's gone. Damn cool wey, now i can concentrate and study better. Honest.

So around 4.30pm i went for the quiz in my tutorial class only to fly like a butterfly in the sky, it was not as hard as i thought it would be and turn up i was the first to finish and leave the class, pardon my ignorance as i really need to concentrate and study for my midterm also.

Around 7.30pm i went for the midterm that night only to screw the second part of the paper, yes the second part i practically left it empty without any scribblings. I discover in horror later that i knew how to solve it as i have practiced it like ten times before, just that my mind went blank during the midterm when i see the hot tutor slyly flirting with the other tutors right in front of my desk with her new haircut, she has very lame taste of guys sial. was stared at by one of the tutor supervising the exam, i thought he suspected me of cheating and he told me later that he likes my handwriting as it is very beautiful. Don't believe? Go and ask moses if you knew him.. Shitty

I felt like crap studying the whole day so i decided to go back early, shower and sleep. With my flu medicine, i slept peacefully around 1am i think.


7 April 2007
This morning, I woke up too early 6.30am for a Saturday is too early and went for breakfast 3 times, yes the first one was intentional but the second and third are not, it was a mistake but what the hell, i can kill some time..

later in the afternoon, i was dragged out of my room, wearing the best of suits only to face a broken down car and a good two hours spent in the workshop, i pity my friend's luck for the car doesn't belong to me.

Then, while waiting in the workshop a missionary man called and invited me to his church gathering tonight.What i don't understand is that i have not attended church for the past few years yet i gladly accepted his offer without blinking an eye. Turns out in the end, I'm jacked when the fella didn't contact me at all at the designated time despite a few sms to him which is at the time I'm writing this.

After the workshop we loose all interest to go on with our adventure to the PC Fair held at Mahkota Parade, so i went back, took a bath, pop my flu medicine and walla i'm in dreamland. I was peacefully sleeping until someone missed call me and to my horror i realized i am late for one of my group meetings. The coolest thing is that the group consist of mostly international students and I'm chosen as the group leader, hence with the responsibilities upon my shoulders I'm still late for a very important meeting in the library, i guess i went there looking stoned like a fuckhead chinese ah beng. Sorry guys, it's just not my day.

After the meeting, i was thirsty so i decided to go for a drink with dilip and zero, while walking to ixora i was literally stared at by one very cute girl who was walking alone to buy some food, i try to look behind but there's no one else behind me, i turn to her again and she smiled at me flashing her perfect white teeth.. Damn, is god trying to screw my brains? She's is hot..!! How is this suppose to turn out in the end? Still very much confused and dazed from the earlier events, i walk on my path and look into the opposite direction shylyshe must be thinking are you retarded asshole..??. .




Period man, i'm bleeding... Hope you all have a nice day ahead..!!

midnight blues

Woke up around 2am when i was about to go to bed, just to to be notified about an extra assignment deadline at 12pm. How could this happen when i tried so hard to get everything done on time this semester? Been slaving on the weekend for one of my assignments and an exam till the night itself... Now monday is officially the day i hate, here's the three reason why:

- I have a wireless computing midterm examination at 8pm (super hard, honestly)
- I have an algorithm analysis project submission by 12pm in the lab, the assignment consist of codings of hash table functions and reviews of monte carlo algorithm of which i feel is still bearable
- I have an assignment to code a robot to move within a maze like the game PACMAN using the programming language FORTRAN which is extinct in MMU. The assignment is due 5pm


God please save me, i beg of you...