Reliving the whatever attitude...

Sometimes, people live their life full of miseries, hopelessness and regrets. Either it falls into the category of doing the shitty job you hate or following "Rich Dad Poor Dad's" interpretation of -Mouse race- IN reality we live in a very much complicated world, no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone else better than you, the moment of being the best will never last forever, obstacles will be in your way to make sure you never sit your ass down and enjoy the sweet moments.. In my case, the general rule of thumb for this scenario would be strive hard in the thing you love to do and things will come your way.. Sadly, i somehow find that statement to be a complete bullshit lately, it doesnt even apply to people who has multiple interest like me. Almost everything you see with me are my area of interest, for example :



My childhood dreams of becoming a superb 500cc bike racer ended at Phagat Vinder's house when it died down and was left to rot there for two months which is still ok compared to being dead previously in my house for six months, hopes to revive this monster would have been long gone by now...




My dreams of becoming a genious computer programmer ended when i had streamyX and a very very powerfull laptop within the vicinity of my room, i succumbed to the needs of quriosity within my teenage years to learn more of the karma sutra practise "which sadly i still cant master"... Also, almost failed my C++, java, prolog, visual basic Damn!!




My dreams of having a happy soapy ending when i was dumped and jacked by the XX chromosome beings for so many times, the last straw for me was when my ex gf dumped me about one and a half year ago... I'm gald it happened, tought me how to live a suicidal live...




My dreams of becoming a hardcore guitarist ended when my band in Kuching broke up 3 and a half years ago, i stopped playing guitar since then until recently 4/5 months ago when approached by Akaash. My skills by now are totally gone case and uncomparable to my peers whom once played alongside me during our teengae years...




My dreams of becoming a basic pocket pc programmer ended when i decided to play too much game with this machine and thus turning it into a full fledged boring time gaming machine + recording of my musical ideas + misc duties(timetable, appoinments, assignments, mp3, file transfer from nk6820)


My dreams of becoming........... ARRGGhhH FUCK!!!



I know my dreams are fading away from me slowly, how i wish i could turn back time and changed it all. For now, my general of thumb would be "WHATEVER, come what may", hopefully that would answer to the pain aching behind the walls of smiles that i put up in front of everybody. Somehow i'm still thinking about how my life would turn out to become in the future, maybe someday i will have the answer to it all..


SO JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK CAN I EXCEL IN YOU FUCKING OLD PRICK...???!!!












"Don't turn away, don't try to hide, don't close your eyes, don't turn out the lights.... "
~whisper - Evanescene~